Wise As Serpents

I got serious about religion a few years after I got serious about martial arts, and studying psychology in school has helped me understand how martial arts have helped me be a better person. I have done martial arts off and on since I was a young teenager, and even as a 40-something still work out at the local MMA gym a few times a week and do some Tai Chi every day. I have been involved in many various security and community relations projects.

The Seattle Housing Crisis is a real conflict with real casualties, causing homelessness and incredibly long commute times. I regularly meet people who are between places to live who have singificant income. In December of 2017 a friend of mine moved out of the Ballard neighborhood where he had been paying $1,500 per month for a two bedroom apartment. The next tenant moving in would be paying $2,800 per month after a few minor renovations. At the time of this writing that friend is shuffling around between homeless shelters and friend's couches.

Many religions pay tithes. At the end of 2012 I was barely managing to keep my family with three young children housed and fed in the early days of the Seattle Housing Crisis. My landlord gave us notice that we had to move, and at the same time I got notice from my job that I was getting laid off. I struggled to barely find a place we could afford to live until I found another job. Instead of paying my tithing every month, I was in the habbit of saving up my tithes and paying them at the end of the year, a very imperfect practice by most tithe-payers standards.

Then a few days before we were to move, our new landlord cancelled on us as well. As we struggled to find time to look for a new place, I decided to take a few hours to go to Church and pay my tithing, showing my kids the money after I withdrew it from the bank. That very night we signed on the dotted line for a new appartment, and were able to move as scheduled.

But what happened with my search for employment was even more uncanny. On my first day I was laid off, just before I left for school, the thought struck me: "check out your last job's main competitor." So I did, and they happened to have a position I was perfectly qualified for, and I applied. On the way back from dropping off the kids I got a call for a job interview for the next day. That interview went well, and the following day I got a job offer for more money than I was making at my job I was laid off from, and had more long-term career potential.

My story is true and miraculous, but it is also cliche among tithe payers. Was my tithing an ideal tithing? No. Did God show grace and bless me for paying my tithing anyways? Obviously! But it is one thing to recognize God's grace, but it is an entirely different thing to be able to show that same grace towards others. The scriptures of many religions demand that we show grace, mercy and forgiveness towards others: God demands we show his grace towards others through our actions.

At one project I was involved in I was responsible for protecting the perimeter of a block in downtown Seattle. I was wrecklessly talking on my cell phone as I patrolled the area. I ran into a man verbally accosting a woman trying to get into her car, using sexist language that made me very concerned for her safety. I interrupted with "Sir, do you know this woman?" He replied by comming at me swinging. Still on my cellphone I used bobbing and weaving and footwork to avoid the strikes... on camera, much to the amusement of my supervisor at the time. The miscreant eventually tired, wandered down the street, blocked traffic, got arrested and went to jail.

This miscreant left behind a back pack. Interested in who he might be, we secured the back pack and examined its contents. We discovered sentimental objects from his childhood, medications, and documentation that led us to believe that he was a homeless veteran who was not recovering well from a back problem, and that he had been mixing medications with alcohol at the time of our skirmish.

A few weeks later the miscreant reappeared on the perimeter, looking for trouble. I got his back pack, and walked directly up to him, and asked "Sir, is this yours?"

He immediately broke down into tears. He sobbed "no one has ever done anything like this for me before." We never had problems from him again.

When God showed me grace, it made me a better person. When I showed this miscreant grace, it made him a better person. If showing grace can be this powerful in a street brawling situation, how much more important is it that we show our family members grace when we have arguments at home? Frayed family relationships are costly, and we should be quick to repair them, helping each other to become better people.

The most famous religious leader of the Old West was known for saying “He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool.” If I am working at one of these public safety projects and someone insults me from an alley, I can take it personally or not take it personally. If I take it personally and the miscreant in the alley didn't mean for me to take it so personally, and I start taking action against that miscreant, then morally speaking, I am the one who is really in the wrong. BUT far more importantly, if the miscreant DID want me to take the insult very personally and THEN I proceed to take action against him, I could be walking into a trap and he could have a friend waiting behind a dumpster to jump me.

Being thinned-skinned makes us easily manipulated and vulnerable. But it also complicates family relationships. In our personal lives we should forgive quickly, show grace towards each other, and strive to not be offended in the first place, opening doors for deeper communication that can lead us all to being better people. As the scriptures say, we should be "wise as serpents, harmless as doves."