One Boy at a Time

In our era of gender-fluidity and pomosexuality, maleness has been demonized. Whenever any of us experiences a strong sexual impulse, we sag our heads in shame of our maleness. By "emasculation" I refer to any time we are made to feel less because of our maleness.

Women have maleness. They carry genes which are intended to benefit male offspring should they reproduce. This maleness can be expressed in their own biology and personality. Whenever a woman is asked to refrain from "unladylike behavior" she is experiencing emasculation.

Sexual objectification of women is the most obvious form of female emasculation. When men only see her as a sex object, men cannot appreciate the male characteristics a woman is contributing to the group. Her male qualities are ignored, and thus her maleness emasculated.

In the martial arts, I have worked out with numerous females who were very physically attractive. Often we would be working on ground fighting, on a mat in very close quarters, bodies weighing on each other as we battled for positions to dominate each other. However these circumstances were far from erotic, as their male aggression forced me into numerous painful submissions as I was choked, pinned, or had my arm twisted until I surrendered.

These females, as sexy as they were, were brothers in arms to me, and that is exactly how I saw them. Without others to spar with, I could not get better at martial arts, and another potential sparring partner was much more rare and valuable to me than yet another potential sexual partner. Now as I encounter new attractive female students, my words for them are brother to brother, as I help them awaken and harness the male within: "Hit me as hard as you can. OK, now swing your body into it. Hit me harder! That's better, now keep your hands up!"

But most often emasculation is used to openly assault straight male sexual identity. Straight males are criticized for being more attracted to fit females over unfit ones - as if they were the only ones who can control who they are attracted to. They are criticized for being too forward with females they are attracted to, and criticized for not being forward enough. Never minding the fact that most females will develop self-esteem problems if they see themselves as wholly unattractive to men, male heterosexual attraction towards females is often seen as the definition of pure evil.

"One Boy at a Time" is what I refer to a specific canned response I often see on social media. It goes something like this: "males are all inherently misogynist. We have to overcome rape culture by teaching them to see females as people instead of sexual objects, one boy at a time." This sounds like a green skinned witch with a long warty nose, a dark hooded robe, and a straight razor wandering a city park and castrating any little boy she can get her hands on. This assumes most males can not see for themselves the painfully obvious fact that females are also people, as if most males constantly groped most attractive females they see. The message to boys is clear: "the way your were born is NOT OK."

One Boy at a Time is incredibly and naively optimistic about protecting females from male aggression. First it is assumed that a little education can change a person's behavior significantly. Second, it assumes that a "one at a time" approach can keep up with the birthrate of new males.

First, the kind of opportunist that takes advantage of vulnerable females at each convenient opportunity is not most males, or we would live in a much different world. Just as all women carry male characteristics, males also carry female characteristics and have an empathetic, nurturing side that is horrified at the thought of another human being being sexually victimized. This means that when a women is being sexually victimized by a male, it is a male that is abnormal in some way. With two equally large populations, if only 5% of population A is aggressive towards population B, that is plenty of aggressors to, as the days go by, repeatedly and regularly harass 100% of population B, even if 95% of Population A is horrified at the prospect of such harassment happening to population B. This kind of opportunist, the 5% as I have referred to here, aren't going to change by way of educational effort.

Second "One Boy at a Time" is not frequent enough to catch up with the birth rate of males. If every male is born with this sort of original sin of built-in-misogyny than no one-on-one tutoring program on how to think about females is going to reach them all. One Boy at a Time is practically inadequate.

Once upon a time I did an internship for college credit with an extremely progressive activist organization. One of the leaders in this organization invited me over to her place to work on some strategic planning documents. She acted as if she was unsure about where the most comfortable place to get work done would be, going from kitchen to living room to - before I realized what was going on - her bedroom, as she gestured to her bed "we could get some work done there." Not only did I need this project for college credit, I was married, and even more to the point, she was NOT my type. I pretended like I was just too stupid to understand and explained I needed a table to write on, and managed to get some work on the documents done with her before leaving without further incident.

This was not the only time women have tried to coerce me into sexual encounters with them when I found myself alone with them. I use this specific example so that it is crystal clear that from my experience, hard-line anti-cis-male ultra-progressive feminist females are far from above this kind of harassment. Ideals do not guarantee behavior, and women possess a wealth of toxic masculinity themselves.

In my personal life, I categorically don't hang out with women who are having more than one drink, ever. I reserve the right to be a red blooded male. I retain my maleness - I have sexual might that is all too easily unleashed - and I reserve the right to constrain it by avoiding even the appearance of evil.
If it LOOKS bad, why go there?  Male. Heterosexual. 100%. That is my sexual identity, ready and willing to inflict bedroom mayhem on vixens everywhere, if unrestrained. Restraint is part of taking my sexual identity seriously. THIS prevents "rape culture." THESE kind of "avoiding the appearance of evil" standards are the ONLY effective protection for females from highly opportunistic males.