Happiness = Slack + Graditude

Do not ever burden another person with your happiness. All the love songs you have ever heard were lies. No one can complete you, make you content, or be everything to you. You only had a mommy once, and that relationship started falling apart on day one, and no one is ever going to be that for you again. If you try to make a lover be that, then you are being a big baby.

The formula for happiness is to take the freedom in your life you need (Slack,) and to appreciate what you have even though you need more (gratitude.) Take some responsibility for your own happiness and pursue Slack and gratitude with vigor.

Gratitude is the ultimate virtue. Most of the do-nots from the 10 commandments, 7 deadly sins, and Buddhism (think "attachment") are the opposite of Gratitude. Though we are dependent on perishable goods (food which rots, clothes that wear out, and technology that becomes outdated,) and thus will ALWAYS need more, contentment will be far more easily gained if we take the time to appreciate that which we already have.

Consider the Don Draper character of the TV show Mad Men. He manages to ruin marriage after marriage by cheating on his various wives with women who are not even as attractive as the ones he's already married to (and in addition wrecks his ideal life style were he could live with his children.) Because he fails to appreciate what is right there in front of him, he seeks more than he should and destroys that which he has, which was already better than what he sought. This is an excellent example of a failure to appreciate; less gratitude, less happiness.

Slack is an obscure term, but something which I define specifically: the time you have to do the things you want to do. This is something life will take from you completely if you do not protect it. I am an activist when it comes to Slack, as I have a mandate with my day job employer that my maximum amount of time I can work as a regularly scheduled work week is 24 hours. I feel guilty about this because it really should only be 21 hours:

You only live once. There are things that you can only do while you are young, and it is a lot more of the things you want to do than you realize. Live life like it matters, enjoy it while you actually can. Don't wait until hospice to spend time with your loved ones. As Orbital once quoted Satan as saying "The thing about regret is: it is better to regret something you HAVE done, than to regret something you HAVE NOT done."

Slack gives you time for Gratitude, and Gratitude helps you prioritize Slack, in a positive feedback loop. However they are also safety checks for each other:

• Gratitude is a safetly belt for Slack in that if Slack goes too far family and personal freedom from prison can be compromised - gratitude helps you prioritize how your Slack is used. 
• Slack is a safety belt for gratitude in that it prevents you from thinking "Oh, everything is just fine in my life, if I just keep working for retirement I'll be able to do everything I want to do when I finally get on SSI at age 70."

Of course you would have to exercise extreme frugality to get more Slack than you have now. That kind of frugality can only be exercised with high levels of gratitude. Maybe what you want to do is spend all day plumping up in a cubical, and if so good for you, life will be very rewarding for you.