To Hell With Chromebooks

Update - Announced at Google I/O 2016, Google is officially going after Windows on the desktop, with a Chromebook update that will allow newer Chromebooks to run Android Apps. In other words, holiday season 2016 Chromebooks should be able to run Android Apps: http://www.networkworld.com/article/3073473/android/google-i-o-2016-every-android-app-really-is-coming-to-chrome.html
However, the following condemnation still applies to all Chromebooks too old for the new update (and to all Chromebooks until such time as this Google I/O promise materializes):

I hereby offer my complete and absolute condemnation of the Chrome Operating System (Chrome OS, and the Chromebooks which are all contaminated by the Chrome OS.) I have tried and come close to making Chromebooks work for me for years now. The only thing they are good for is as stationary web browser terminals for users who are not gamers and who do not do web development: senior citizens.

There are two ways to use a Chromebook, 1st is how it is shipped, exactly as it is out of the box. 2nd is in "developer mode." In developer mode there are numerous hacks you can do to improve the Chromebook that typically fix the Chromebook by allowing you to run operating systems that are not Chrome OS. However, once your Chromebook is in developer mode, there will always be a self-destruct screen, that every time the Chromebook is turned on, will provide simple instructions presented as direct emergency orders - just two key strokes - that result in the Chromebook being completely wiped, deleting all data and operating systems off the Chromebook and reinstalling Chrome OS. All the work you put into installing the other operating systems - and all the work you haven't backed up yet that you could do with that alternative operating system - gone forever.

But aren't gamers or web developers skilled enough to avoid pressing two keys that destroy their workstations? That question presents a very specific lifestyle - one without children, with only highly computer literate friends, one without significant others - only making sense if you have completely sacrificed your social life and family life for your career. Quite frankly it reflects very poorly on Google corporate culture. Thanks to the self-destruct screen me and my friends have lost dozens of hours of work on Chromebooks. "Developer mode" is a non-starter, worse-than-Microsoft/Windows crippling crapware.

But if I was a Real Man, wouldn't I be able to perform all my gaming and web development needs through the browser, on the cloud? There are two problems with this sentiment: 1st the assumption of universal wireless data access, and 2nd the crapware nature of Chrome OS.

Even in the Seattle Metropolitan area there is not complete 3-G or 4-G data coverage geographically. There is nothing even remotely like universal WiFi. Unless you are at a coffee shop, library or home, insofar as internet access is required to make Chorme OS useful, your Chromebook is a brick. Again this assumption of universal wireless access suggests a very insular, privileged culture at Google.

However the real crux of the problem is that the Chrome OS is complete trash even with internet access. Nevermind the fact that Google could have had Chrome OS running Android apps long ago but chose not to, you can't even get the Unity 3D engine to run in the web browser, making the Chrome browser on Chrome OS far less functional for grade school age children than the Chrome browser on Mac, Windows, or Linux. The same is true for flash games in general.

But it gets so much worse. Want to FTP something to your web server or save an image at 150 DPI for use in a PDF? Good luck with that. You might be able to find an expensive 3rd party service that will allow you access to their servers that will allow them to do it for you, but quite frankly if I wanted to spend a handful of cash for every piece of software I need to use, I would just get a Mac. Nothing but condemnation is justified for this being a "feature" on a supposedly budget computer.

This blog is named after Google's failure to support their projects after suckering developers and authors to sink many of their own hours into the projects personally (see "Google Knol.") However Chrome OS and Chromebooks are a project they have allowed to go on far too long - it should have never reached the point where anyone was actually selling Chromebooks in the first place. The fact that Chrome OS doesn't run Android apps, its crippled to the point of not allowing FTP or Unity 3D in the browser, and that the developer mode attacks developers, Chromebooks are a complete betrayal of trust on the part of Google to its customers.