Jon

WARNING: This is a highly personal post about a suicide.

I have had a very easy life. The worst thing that has ever happened to me was one of my best friends son, age 14, committed suicide. The one year anniversary of this was in January, and I didn't really know how to blog about this and how it has effected me over the last year. The only thing I have said about it publicly is that I believe violence is justified when someone is defending themselves against a bully.

I never thought any one of the following changes that has happened in my life since January 2015 was due primarily because of what happened. However it was in in each case a secondary reason I consciously considered:

1. I moved back to my home town with my kids in tow. We have a much more laid back lifestyle here and I can spend more time with them.
2. I was asked to take a volunteer position with a church to help with boys aged 12 to 16, which I accepted, where again I am involved directly with my own kids. I make sure they have the philosophical and religious training to understand the nature of virtue, and that striving to become better people does not mean inflicting unnecessary suffering on ourselves.
3. Though I encourage my kids to pursue things they are interested in, I take it very easy on what expectations I have for them. I encourage them to take their time, enjoy life, and to take life at their own pace, and to not stress out over grades and other deadlines people try to set for you.
4. I have gone out of my way to set a good example to enjoy life myself, and to make sure my kids understand that is what I am doing. Life is too short to waste suffering. 
5. I have started a (poorly written) novel that allows me to vent a lot of the frustrations I have about the conditions in society which contribute to male youth suicide.

This is not a happy ending. It is an attempt to prevent my kids, one in particular, from suffering Jonathan's fate. I have learned how important it is to focus on family and enjoy life itself, but the price was too steep, I could have learned this another way.

A few words about Jonathan. I knew him since he was born, but I only spent a handful of days with him each year. He was a unique and impressive person. He erred on the side of kindness and bravery. He loved animals, and he had way with them that reminded me of Tarzan. He would be the one climbing up on top of something taller than anyone else would dare climb, just to make some absurd declaration so that everyone would laugh. He would be the one making secret forts for the other children to enjoy. He was the most fun loving person I ever met. The world will always be less without him.