Offense Intended

This is intended for everyone. I will reference some religious material, but this post is not only for the religious.

It has been said that Brigham Young and Confucius taught something to the effect of "he who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool. He who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool." Think this through: if someone insults you unintentionally, you aren't accomplishing much and possibly risking a great deal if you allow yourself to become offended. On the other hand, if they DO intentionally insult you and you allow yourself to become offended, then you are allowing an aggressor to manipulate your feelings - and since feelings lead to thoughts and actions - you are allowing them to manipulate what you think and do.

Now think back on all that stuff Jesus had to say about being nice to people ("turning the other cheek" etc.,) or all the things Buddha had to say about being detached and forgiving of other people. On one hand that is sound advice for folks who want to live a happy life, but on the other hand it is critical self defense for any person with an agenda. If you have things to do, letting people derail your agenda unintentionally OR intentionally is not efficient.

In Moral Reconation Therapy they explain that when criminals complain, they are manipulating. A normal person might complain to blow off steam, create structural change, or start a conversation, but with criminals they are relying on manipulative behavior they used on their caregivers when they were infants and toddlers, mostly before when they learned to speak. When dangerous people say things that are intended to affront your ego or hurt your feelings, allowing yourself to be offended could be a fatal mistake. If someone calls you out personally from a dark alley, engaging in an on the spot argument (least bit turning around and going in fist first) could be walking right into an ambush... all to satisfy your ego.

I should not go into details here, but I know about this from my experience on the street. This is words for the wise in all self defense situations, be it on the street, online, in a cubicle, or on the mat, never let trash talking get to you - simply beware the person talking trash. Do not get distracted from your goals by conflicts instigated by other's carelessness or intentional opposition: