A Cop is a Krampus

Me and the law went our separate ways in my undergrad Human Services program at WWU. Two of my internships made me realize that though law enforcement is necessary to keep us all mindful of obeying the laws of the land, law enforcement per say NEVER pursues our own self interest.

1. The FBI failed to get records requested from Seattle Indymedia where I was an intern studying NPO management, so they actually physically confiscated our servers (not actually a big deal for hackers who were laying the social and technological foundations of what would later become Wikipedia.) 
2. At the King County Jail in downtown Seattle as an intern serving as an assistant teacher for ESL and GED classes, I began to realize that many of my innocent students were "pleading guilty for time served." Time served is the time you spend in jail for your day in court, so if your punishment is time served, that means you get to leave jail immediately, but with a criminal record. The more responsibilities they had outside of jail (family, work, etc.) the more likely they would take a guilty plea to get back to those responsibilities. The real professional criminals without much outside responsibility were actually more likely to be declared innocent by a court, because they had all the time in the world to fight the accusation.

Since college I have had a few brushes with the law, and though none of it has resulted in my having a criminal record, I have learned a few very important details you need to know if you don't know already:

1. As soon as any law enforcement does anything even remotely like reading you your rights, like saying anything like "you have a right to an attorney," or "you don't have to speak to me if you don't want to," or "anything you say can be used against you," any ONE of those things, declare you will not speak to them any further without your lawyer there, and then do NOT speak to them further.
2. ANYTHING you say to them they will try to find a legal problem with and charge you for. I must emphasize this again: there are many, many laws. Several times a year most of us without knowing commit felonies or misdemeanors that could result in criminal records destroying our career. Once law enforcement starts getting info from you, it's no-holds-barred with how they are going to take you apart - if they have to talk to you, you need to learn your lesson, PERIOD.
3. This is because by that point, they have already decided you are guilty. NOTHING you can say to them, show them, point out to them, etc. will change their mind. If you have video footage of your innocence or if you have direct witnesses of your innocence they will use that information to try to find you guilty of a completely unrelated crime, they have already decided you are going down. At this point your ONLY chance of being declared innocent before a trial IS YOUR LAWYER.
4. $7,000 might sound like a lot of money, but compared to the damage law enforcement hopes to do to your life, it's nothing, it's frivolous by comparison. The law is designed to make an example out of you - not so much for breaking the law - but for wasting law enforcement's time for not avoiding the APPEARANCE of evil! Most lawyers have a payment plan if you don't have the cash. Some lawyers might take your case for a lot less.
5. Keep this change in the bank, do whatever it takes to save $7,000 and keep it there. If you don't need it, a loved one most likely will eventually!

The media is very misleading about how law enforcement really works in real life. The creators of media are mostly English majors with no life experience saturated in postmodern ideology, and are either writing from the cops perspective or from the criminals perspective, both completely irrelevant to the innocent in real life. Law Enforcement are the monsters creeping around in the dark to punish bad children who don't listen to their parents. A cop is a Krampus or boogey man, meant to scare us into being mindful of the law. But if a Cop/Krampus is reading you your rights you must lawyer up immediately, because all they are doing now is trying to make an example out you: